Finding my calling and God leading me to nursing
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future ~ Jeremiah 29:11
A couple weeks ago I found myself getting impatient with God. I felt frustrated with my job, which led me to feel negative towards almost everything else. I couldn’t figure out why I was having such a difficult time in multiple areas of my life. I mean, I had moved back home to realign my values and goals… have a reset! It seemed like a noble thing to do. So, why was I feeling so hopeless and rejected?
Keep in mind, I have spent years wondering what my real “purpose” is, and what I should be doing with my life. I’ve always had this restless feeling, even while I was in some of the most beautiful places in the world. Going back home to my family, as hard as a transition as it was, has led me to a beautiful relationship with our Heavenly Father.
Even with this relationship, I have had days where I doubt myself, and this day was one of them. I felt especially weak this day in particular. In that moment of weakness, I began to have second thoughts if I made the right decision to leave Los Angeles. I vented to my mother about how my life felt like a joke. At this time, I was working at Lytle Park Hotel—making way less money than I was in LA, and away from my friends.
She told me to be patient, that the right path will become evident. I felt that I had no choice but to relinquish control of my outward circumstances because my plan wasn’t working. My plan was simple: move home, get a job, make money, save that money, spend time with new friends, meet someone nice, reset my goals, and then with my saved money, move to my next place. It seemed foolproof. Except…it wasn’t. Nor was it realistic at all. Boy, was my head in the clouds!
So I wondered and prayed. There must be a reason my simple plan isn’t working. How was it “easier” for me in LA? I know I’m not meant to be there, so what now? Show me the way, Lord. I prayed with all my heart.
A couple hours after my prayer, I went on a boat ride with my mom on the lake in our backyard. Gazing up at the sun, I felt so peaceful, regardless of the way my life seemed to be going. My mom and I had a good conversation about my purpose, and what I could do for work that was more aligned with my soul. I know in my heart I’ve wanted to do something more meaningful than working in hospitality or modeling. I love writing but have wanted something more. There has to be something more. What is it God?
As we were out on the boat, my mom suddenly came up with a possible idea that even surprised her. We spoke about it for a long time and I was filled with hope. Before I knew it, I was in contact with Miami University (I completed just one semester several years back). Now, I’m planning on returning to school in the fall, with the goal of getting my bachelors in nursing! Going to back to college is something I would have never seen myself doing before, especially during all those years I had spent traveling and living in Los Angeles. There is a long road ahead of me but if it means serving God by helping others, show me the way.
